why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
