Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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