I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
