White coat. Heels.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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