well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need a beard to bite.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
