The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
