I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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