Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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