this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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