? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
