508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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