her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
