Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
