My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
