That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
FUCK WHALES
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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