i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
