I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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