There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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