Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
