Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
