I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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