She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
