Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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