How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
