Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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