girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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