Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
