it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
