I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
