Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
