I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
