He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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