the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
