don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
COCAINE IS GR8
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
