haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
