I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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