Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
