no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am spending my child support on dildos
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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