I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Girls should come with a carfax report
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
