Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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