I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
