Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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