Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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