Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
