i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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