Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
