I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
