Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
