I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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