You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
