god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
