I think I just saw someone hide a body.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
