Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
